Sunday, March 12, 2006

And since nobody reads my blog anymore...

Look at all those people
they've got somewhere to go
sit back and taste your tears 'cause you can't let it show
I saw you speaking to the moon
praying for some magic word
but the engine's ticking heartbeat
was the only thing you heard
But don't shed a tear
I will come when the lights go down
I can feel you there, a million miles away
and I say

It will all fall away
it will all fall away
when horizons turn to shades of yesterday

Hello there, stranger
Can you teach me something new?
I'm smelling spring, seeing eternity, and thinking of you
Shampoo bottle's got news for me
an everyday cleansing is what I need
but when I look to the atmosphere I feel I could...

but it will all fall away
it will all fall away
and horizons will turn to shades of yesterday

Somehow this simple hope is more than emotion
it's who I am, who I've become
shining like the sea
it's a drop in the ocean

But it will all fall away
it will all fall away
when horizons turn to shades of yesterday
Here, it all falls away
yeah it all falls away
and I thank the Lord for all those yesterdays

It is a song. I happen to like it a lot, it turned out well. It is, however, titleless, so any ideas are welcome. Oh wait, nobody reads this. Right.

So, thus far I'm somehow failing math, history, Junior Comp (because we have a whopping two grades in the gradebook) and HTML. I just can't focus in class and I have no energy to do homework because I am literally always sick. This weekend I actually went out with friends and babysat for Chip & Virginia for 7 hours. And I am still failing. And the quarter ends on Friday. Neither of which were the wisest of decisions. You want to know something even grander? I don't really care. Maybe I'll drop out and become a nun. Oh, how I would love that. So, so much. I'd have to drop out after prom though... hmmm... No. Actually, I'm considering homeschooling. Not very seriously, but it's a possibility if things go on as they are.

Aaron is going to be in Medugorje from Tuesday to Wednesday the 22nd. He also is most likely leaving for Intercessors of the Lamb on April 7th. Please pray for him, his safety, and his discernment!


At March 13, 2006 3:16 AM, Blogger Andy said...

It really is a shame that no one ever reads your blog anymore, cause that wonderful song is going to waste. It really seems different when you actually hear it. Anywho I'd offer a title & possibly a sarcastic quip or two but I'm far too tired, maybe tomorrow.
Au Revoir Sis

(Oh yeah if you ever want some help w/ math don't hesitate to ask.)

At March 14, 2006 9:27 PM, Blogger Nathaniel said...

I read your blog a 'plenty, I just don't post comments often. I can start doing that for you though.

Oh, hey, do not drop out of high school. That is absolutely the dumbest thing you could possibly do with your life right now (if you are actually considering doing such a thing).

I went to a website on "how to become a nun" and step 3 is:

3. Get a college degree. Many religious communities like applicants to have at least a bachelor's degree before they take their vows.

So if you drop out you won't be getting much further than the Cove until you get a G.E.D.

And as for studying: I know you have been really sick and in a lot of pain lately, and I can't judge how badly that is really affecting your schoolwork, but I think I can safely say that it's not the sole reason you are failing 4 of your 7 classes.

I mean, for God's sake, you run 4 personal websites (Xanga, Blog, Livejournal, Myspace) and find the time, motivation, and energy to pour your creative energy and talent into those almost daily, but you're telling me that you can't get any schoolwork done whatsoever?

I hate to sound harsh, but I think you need a wakeup call. You need to stop moping around and hit the books, or you will regret it in the future. And to do that, you need to first stop feeling sorry for yourself. I mean, we all have problems, and I wouldn't doubt that your problems are worse than a lot of people's, but people feeling sorry for themselves never did any good for anyone.

And then you claim that you have no motivation to get your schoolwork done. Well, simple solution is, motivate yourself. You know how screwed you could be if you fail 4 classes come the end of the semester. Easiest way to motivate yourself now is to simply get worried about the consequences. You should be.

Take me for example. When I started this semester I didn't give a rat's ass about my calculus class. I B.S.'d all the homework and didn't study for the quizzes. Then came the first exam, and I failed miserably. Got an email saying I was failing the class, and if I don't pass the class, I will have to retake it and pass before I can get into my major.

So I hit the books. I was worried. "Can't fail this class," I thought. Studied, did all the homework, got as ready as possible for the next exam. Exam was last Thursday, I had been using all my time to study since the past Monday. Got an 84% on the exam, class average was 50%. Highest score in the class. Not bad. Especially when considering that I got the lowest score in my class in the first exam.

And let me tell you, the hardest part about getting back into the routine of schoolwork and accomplishment was, well, getting started. And I guarantee that this will be the hardest part for you, well, if you decide to try to pass your classes.

That is because of course, you have to teach yourself everything that you should have known already before you can start working on the material which your class is currently working on. And that can take a lot of time and effort. But really, figuring these things out that before you simply were clueless about, can really be satisfying.

It's like when you're in class and the teacher is explaining something to you, and after a while you finally get it. "Ohhhhhh! I geettttt it!!!" Satisfaction. Well, catching up on schoolwork is full of such moments, if that is any consolation.

Otherwise you can just maintain your stance on quitting and stay in the doldrums where you have no idea what's going on in any class and really, just sit there aimlessly, not paying attention to the teacher because you have no idea what he/she is talking about.

But if you do decide to catch up on schoolwork, once you get past the initial "catchup" phase, things get really breezy. By this time, you're already used to studying hard, and all you need to do keep updated with new material. Plus, when you go to class, you actually can exercise your brain with rational thought because you know what the teacher is talking about.

So I know this is a really roundabout way of saying it, but...

1. Don't dropout
2. Stop feeling sorry for yourself
2. Catch up on schoolwork
3. Study and do well on exams
4. ...
5. Profit!

At March 15, 2006 12:34 AM, Blogger Erin said...

Okay, well I didn't even read the whole comment... I will at some point. As for what I read, you seem extremely insensitive. And maybe that's how everybody's feeling and just not telling me so, but I certainly don't need to hear it. If you knew me at all you'd know that I tend to be rash in my blog posts and simply write whatever I feel would be an ideal situation or solution. In this case, the whole dropping out/nun thing was extremely silly...I wasn't serious, I was just expressing... nevermind. I'm going to bed.

By the way, it takes little to no energy to sit up in my bed and type out my frustrations or aggravations or relax by doing a little photoshop here and there. That's therapy to me! And some days, I can't even do that! It does, on the other hand, tax me quite a bit to sit and read line after tiny line and write till I feel like my hand is made of shattered glass. I think if you experienced a fraction of what I'm going through you'd be slightly more sympathetic.

Also, I don't have a problem understanding anything. The material is quite simple, and the only reason I'm failing is due to multiple missed assignments because of my lack of focus during classtime and my large amount of sleepy-time at home which has thankfully begun to be slightly more human. Speaking of which, I must be off.Thank you kindly.


At March 15, 2006 11:29 PM, Blogger Nathaniel said...

Whoa, dang.

I wasn't trying to be mean, but it seems you took it that way anyways. I was just trying to help.

OK. I'm gonna go play some poker, bye.


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