Friday, September 30, 2005

His Eye Is On The Sparrow

"Are not five sparrows sold for two small coins? Yet not one of them has escaped the notice of God. Even the hairs of your head have all been counted. Do not be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows."

Toward the end of the 'brisk' run with my little brother tonight, I waved him on and stopped by the ever-so-familiar cornfield that I often find myself inexplicably drawn to. Sitting down behind the fringe of bushes, just out of sight, I stared up at the stars and immediately knew that God was there. It wasn't an emotional sensation, simply a feeling that Christ was saying 'Here. Now. This is where I want you.' It was rather incredible, I felt like I was experiencing unemotional emotion, devoid of the worldly glaze that has been over my heart the last several months. It was then that I immediately thought of these verses and stared out into the brilliant twilight as if for the first time. The sky was like the cashmere coat I've worn on one occasion, the horizon like a cutout with innumerable jagged edges. To think that the Lord created all of it, and not by the power of any supernatural Caterpillar or the genius of any programming language. He merely willed it all to exist. It was God's daydream, His imagination creating the most beautiful of stories. And he knows each character and detail so intimately! We as humans have not the patience, nor the dexterity, nor the eyesight to count a single fraction of the hairs on our heads, yet Christ knows them all with His eyes closed and both hands tied behind His back (or nailed to a cross)! Perhaps if we learned and acknowledged His beautiful work we would be so much more willing to trust in His grace.

The second thought, which struck me with the force of a hundred blows, was that of the eagerness God has to be with us. I was singing Hungry, a wonderful worship song, when a particular lyric jumped out at me:
Hungry I come to you for I know you satisfy
I am empty, but I know Your love does not run dry
and so I wait for You, and so I wait for You...
The last line suddenly sounded very odd to me. Wait for Him? Why are we waiting for Him? Christ stands with His loving arms outstretched at every moment of every day, He is waiting for us! What an illusion we create when we act as though it is something He must do for the people He has already given His life for. So often in worldly relationships, marriages, and friendships, when we are wronged by someone close to us, we are hurt and upset by the offense, believing that the validity of love is inversely proportional to how often we are hurt by it. But Christ- what a wonderful, beautiful, holy Father and Lover! He does not wait for us to come crawling back on hands and knees, doesn't wait to forgive until we take him to a nice restaurant or give Him what he wants. It is instantaneous and unstoppable love. We throw Him down by our sins and he jumps up, still begging and pleading for us to love Him. He sets a divine example and gives us all such a clear image: love is not never being hurt, it is learning to constantly forgive.


At September 30, 2005 10:59 PM, Blogger Andy said...

I like "His eyes closed and both hands tied behind His back (or nailed to a cross)!" That's really cool. Great post btw. The entire thing had discriptive insight out the wazoo. You should write like this more often.

At September 30, 2005 11:02 PM, Blogger Erin said...

Haha thanks, I do- in my journal.

At October 01, 2005 12:55 AM, Blogger Mike said...

Yeah, at the homily today the priest had a little something that I think adds to your post. He was talking about how badly God wants to give us forgiveness. It's almost as if He can't wait, He's so eager.

Also, I think it's interesting that you have that Bible verse to open, because I was reading through Psalms the other day and came across a line that hit me pretty severely (and this is in the middle of the mind-numbingly jewish psalms that are so hard to figure out because they are so immersed in the Jewish faith). Psalm 84:3 starts off "even the sparrow finds a home."

Put the two together, and you get a promise that you and I will find homes, for we are worth more than the sparrow, and he will find a home. Of course, I take this to mean heaven, not a nest.

The reason this hit me so hard is because Christ's use of the sparrow in the Gospel passage was so bloody random (or so I thought). But oh... how wrong I was.


At October 01, 2005 10:57 AM, Blogger Erin said...

Yeah that priest hit what I was trying to say pretty much dead on, that's awesome.

I think the use of the sparrow as an example is sooo beautiful. Sparrows are such small and tender birds, as we are we are weak amongst this world of sin. And not one falls to the ground without him knowing it! I love that image.

At October 01, 2005 8:50 PM, Blogger Alycia said...

"And so I wait for you..."

I too have always found that verse odd. I understand now. I have to wait for what the Lord has in store for me. I have to wait for His timing in my life. Once I come to Him to satisfy me, I have to just sit back and wait for things to fall into place. If I am close enough to Him on the journey of , doing His will should be second nature. That's not always what it's like, but it's a great thing to stive for. Wait for the Lord to start things for you- be patient for all that He has in store for you. What would be the use to recieve everything all at once?


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