Eager to Please
When the cradle falls
you'll have to take it all in stride
The stars about you lay
you feel too small to have your way
you didn't know cause you never tried
but the light is on the other side
three wishes, three ways
to find yourself in three little days
rip emotions away
they're gone like today
Pretty baby, poor baby
you just rock yourself to sleep
the shapes and shadows on the walls
are all the company you keep
and though you're in too deep
this dream is too sweet to wake from
but bend or break
tomorrow's gotta come
The alibi is gold
you take one look and then you're sold
so eager to please
so much more than you see
you're out of reach and incomplete
waiting for some missing piece
two dollars in change, two broken hearts
all that's left when time and space leave their mark
rip the pages away
there's nothing left to say
Pretty baby, poor baby
you just rock yourself to sleep
the shapes and shadows on the walls
are all the company you keep
and though you're in too deep
this dream is too sweet to wake from
but bend or break
tomorrow's gotta come
one life, one memory
of a sweet but saddened baby
rip the covers away
she's still okay
Pretty baby, poor baby
you just rock yourself to sleep
the shapes and shadows on the walls
are all the company you keep
and though you're in too deep
this dream is too sweet to wake from
but bend or break
tomorrow's gotta come
lullaby, and goodnight...
____________________________
Still not finished, but negative and positive feedback are always appreciated!
posted by Erin Marie Hall @ 2:39 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
I really like how it flows, but as i read it it came off like rap-rhyming in a few spots, which isn't necessarily bad, but i'm sure it isn't the effect you were going for.
leahciM
Good post. But why did you post it?
Why not?
I’ve gotta agree with Michael about the whole rap-rhyming thing, but if it sounds good when sung then more power to ya. I like your last one a little better because it was a little more upbeat & it sounded hopeful. This song however has a little more substance to it as though you didn't write it just to please your audience but you wrote it to fully express how you felt at the time. Anyway, all in all, I like it.
Oh yeah, & is the line "the shapes and shadows on the walls
are all the company you keep" supposed to have anything to do with schizophrenia?
haha actually, no, though I guess it could. It simply refers to the solitude of the room where the song is set, and how the sometimes the only company you should have are the shapes and shadows inside your own four walls.
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